... A Diabetic's Wake-Up Call
This post is a little long, so I'm really hoping that lj-cuts work in RSS feeds for you LiveJ people out there... for the rest of you, the full post.
So, as many of you know, two or three months ago, I noticed a spot on my right wrist that bore a striking resemblance to a cigarette burn. Now, I've picked up several detrimental habits here at WVWC such as getting married, not sleeping, and enjoying Literature, but smoking has not been among them. My friends and I had no clue concerning the origin of such a legion, and to explain such we followed an ancient tradition of the Native Wesleyanites. We named it "the gay" and said I caught it from Tim (his girlfriend agreed).
At this point, everyone else began examining their wrists, and a surprisingly large majority discovered that they too had contracted the gay, although it was mostly exhibited in the form of a normal-appearing scratch or blemish. Some didn't mind, others (Luke) tried to hide it with make up (and just because it's on the other wrist does not make it 'the straight'). However, within a few weeks, everyone had healed. Except for me.
Jennifer and I decided that the legion was probably some type of chemical burn, sustained who-knows-where by who-knows-what (we still refer to it as 'catching the gay' and it's still Tim's fault). My issue is... that mine has only recently completely healed... and I have a dark scar like no other I've seen, especially for such a superficial wound.
Let's get serious though. Difficulty healing is a classic complication of uncontrolled Diabetes Mellitus. It's no secret that I'm a diabetic on the insulin pump. It's also no secret that I don't monitor my BG as I should. Now, some people still believe that diabetics should only eat certain foods, and never after sundown, and only if you're standing up so it can digest properly, and a host of other old-fashioned ideas. The truth of the matter is that a diabetic who is on the pump and controlling his or her diabetes effectively can eat pretty much whatever the heck he or she wants. A responsible diabetic has freedoms.
I am not a responsible diabetic. I've had HbA1c readings of 8.7% and 9%, I've had high BG readings. Those annoyed me, but they didn't scare me. This scares me. I don't know if it's even related to the diabetes, it may have just been a weird wound that scarred funny, but in any case, it's got me thinking. I always say that I'll probably die before 30, and I'm OK with that. But even if I'm OK with it, that doesn't mean I want it necessarily!
I still believe in the pump. Some people don't and that's ok. I know Brandon says that he feels it makes people too dependent on it, and I can understand his point of view. I still believe that if used properly, it mimics the human pancreas more effectively and efficiently than any other therapy... Including pancreas transplant (I don't want to take immuno-suppressant for the rest of my life!). I don't need a new therapy.
I need to change. I need to monitor my BG more often... I need to get out that little workbook and do the fasting tests, etc. and find out what on earth my insulin needs really are now anyway. I'll need to do that for summer and then again for school, as I know my stress levels drop in the summer and that definitely seems to have an effect on my BG levels. I really should start on a more regimented diet... if only for the sake of being healthy. Sometimes it bothers me that I can sit down and eat a whole bag of chips at once and not think a thing of it. I need to get my work done so I can give more time to sleep... sleep deprivation increases insulin resistance, which results in high BGs. Of course, that's not going to start tonight... it's almost 3 and I still need to study for Intro to Ed, and maybe write a paper. At least I slept from 6ish to 10ish... that'll at least give me something to go on, which is more than I had on Thursday night.
I think that phrase sums it up: I need to change. I need to change who I am, I need to become a more responsible individual. I say things like this a lot, but at some point, I'm going to have to do them.
Right now, my BG is 210. Three and 1/2 hours ago, it was 447... I had no ketones.
So that's why the gay scares me... but if it brings change, I'll be glad for it. And if it brings change, I just might have to take up smoking so I can have life-altering cigarette burns more often.
In other news, I have an Education test tomorrow. I'd really like to pass at least one test in that class this semester; I think that might be good for my grade. Hopefully, this will be the one. I have two papers to write for Comm... one is late, I hope to do that tonight. I have two more to write for my Hinduism/Buddhism class... in addition to the one I just finished. I need to get these out of the way so I can get working on my Lit paper... I had a conference with Dr. Saunders, and I don't think I can convey to you how excited I am to do this paper. I don't think I understand it myself... this is an entirely new sensation... but I can't wait to delve into it.
Last week was one of the most stress-free I've experienced, just generally a good week over all. I felt... cleansed, perhaps by fire rather than water in a sense. But I felt alive. This week feels like it will be much different, but hopefully this will be a week of accomplishment, if only on a small scale.
Remember, A Chorus Line this week, Wednesday-Friday, 8PM, Saturday at 2PM. Jen will be in charge of the world during these times; I'll be ushering ('cept for Wed.), but won't always be sticking around for the show.
Goodnight, folks... thanks for listening.
At this point, everyone else began examining their wrists, and a surprisingly large majority discovered that they too had contracted the gay, although it was mostly exhibited in the form of a normal-appearing scratch or blemish. Some didn't mind, others (Luke) tried to hide it with make up (and just because it's on the other wrist does not make it 'the straight'). However, within a few weeks, everyone had healed. Except for me.
Jennifer and I decided that the legion was probably some type of chemical burn, sustained who-knows-where by who-knows-what (we still refer to it as 'catching the gay' and it's still Tim's fault). My issue is... that mine has only recently completely healed... and I have a dark scar like no other I've seen, especially for such a superficial wound.
Let's get serious though. Difficulty healing is a classic complication of uncontrolled Diabetes Mellitus. It's no secret that I'm a diabetic on the insulin pump. It's also no secret that I don't monitor my BG as I should. Now, some people still believe that diabetics should only eat certain foods, and never after sundown, and only if you're standing up so it can digest properly, and a host of other old-fashioned ideas. The truth of the matter is that a diabetic who is on the pump and controlling his or her diabetes effectively can eat pretty much whatever the heck he or she wants. A responsible diabetic has freedoms.
I am not a responsible diabetic. I've had HbA1c readings of 8.7% and 9%, I've had high BG readings. Those annoyed me, but they didn't scare me. This scares me. I don't know if it's even related to the diabetes, it may have just been a weird wound that scarred funny, but in any case, it's got me thinking. I always say that I'll probably die before 30, and I'm OK with that. But even if I'm OK with it, that doesn't mean I want it necessarily!
I still believe in the pump. Some people don't and that's ok. I know Brandon says that he feels it makes people too dependent on it, and I can understand his point of view. I still believe that if used properly, it mimics the human pancreas more effectively and efficiently than any other therapy... Including pancreas transplant (I don't want to take immuno-suppressant for the rest of my life!). I don't need a new therapy.
I need to change. I need to monitor my BG more often... I need to get out that little workbook and do the fasting tests, etc. and find out what on earth my insulin needs really are now anyway. I'll need to do that for summer and then again for school, as I know my stress levels drop in the summer and that definitely seems to have an effect on my BG levels. I really should start on a more regimented diet... if only for the sake of being healthy. Sometimes it bothers me that I can sit down and eat a whole bag of chips at once and not think a thing of it. I need to get my work done so I can give more time to sleep... sleep deprivation increases insulin resistance, which results in high BGs. Of course, that's not going to start tonight... it's almost 3 and I still need to study for Intro to Ed, and maybe write a paper. At least I slept from 6ish to 10ish... that'll at least give me something to go on, which is more than I had on Thursday night.
I think that phrase sums it up: I need to change. I need to change who I am, I need to become a more responsible individual. I say things like this a lot, but at some point, I'm going to have to do them.
Right now, my BG is 210. Three and 1/2 hours ago, it was 447... I had no ketones.
So that's why the gay scares me... but if it brings change, I'll be glad for it. And if it brings change, I just might have to take up smoking so I can have life-altering cigarette burns more often.
Last week was one of the most stress-free I've experienced, just generally a good week over all. I felt... cleansed, perhaps by fire rather than water in a sense. But I felt alive. This week feels like it will be much different, but hopefully this will be a week of accomplishment, if only on a small scale.
Remember, A Chorus Line this week, Wednesday-Friday, 8PM, Saturday at 2PM. Jen will be in charge of the world during these times; I'll be ushering ('cept for Wed.), but won't always be sticking around for the show.
Goodnight, folks... thanks for listening.